Posts Tagged ‘The Pussycat Dolls’



July 7, 2009

Something which I don’t understand, beyond pure and simple prejudice (which is of course a large part of the answer, but humour me), is why gay men generally are stereotyped as not being able to keep it in their pants.  In The Informers any gay person has multiple lovers, smiles lasciviously at young surfer boys, and talks with a lisp and a limp wrist.  My limited experience of gay bars sorta betrays the same stereotype.  But of course, it’s a generalisation, and not every single gay male is like that.

In the UK, the word “fag” is not used, and we have “poof” instead.  But in the US, “fag” is used more for very effeminate gays (or “queens”, another word I hate!), the type I have briefly summarised in the above paragraph.  (In the UK, “poof” is used for more or less anyone who is gay, and “fag” is a cigarette.) It’s considered an offensive term, for obvious reasons, but at the same time, it is also used as an effective summary of fey gay behaviour.  Even gay people such as Perez Hilton use the term (setting back gay equality fights about 30 years in the process), though that particular situation resulted in Perez getting punched in the face by’s tour manager, and the rest of the world cheering and wondering why it had taken so long for Perez to get even just a taste of his own medicine.  And this leads me onto a different exploration of how a stereotypical gay man (“gurrrrl!!!!”) behaves.

In gay clubs, the more camp people seem to equate being a “bitch” with being “fierce”.  Exhibit A: the existence of Sasha Fierce (Beyoncé’s alter ego), who is in turn a garish caricature and a fabulous performer.  Exhibit B: Ex-Pussycat Doll Carmit Bachar’s new song:

I can empathise with having a no-mess attitude and looking fantastic and fashionable – those things are undeniably great.  But why idolise sleeping around, stabbing people in the back, spreading rumours and getting a bad reputation?  I mean, those things are each individual’s choice but not really an attractive choice IMO.  And apart from the sleeping around (as far as we know), that’s exactly what Perez Hilton does, making a fantastic living in the process.  I stopped reading his blog a couple of weeks ago because although his news scoops were quite interesting, I detested his attitude, his blatant favouritism of Lady GaGa and Katy Perry (who are not all that) and utter hatred of others without any rationalisation.  And I thought, rather than feed into his way of life and his success, I would make a point of getting my news elsewhere.

In using the derogatory term in the title, I’m trying to understand or explore not only why all gay men are stereotyped in such an unflattering way, but also why certain gay men seem to embrace this stereotype, apparently in order to “fulfill their gayness” and put themselves in the correct box.  I would never want to be defined by a stereotype, let alone such an offensive one, and I think that it’s important to aim to be more than a generalisation, and aim to be yourself and the best you can be.