Posts Tagged ‘lazy’

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layin’ in the bed bumpin’ Jodeci…

October 6, 2009

… is exactly what I’m doing right now.  (Thankyou Mariah Carey – “The Impossible”, Memoirs of an Imperfect Angel) Wrapped up in a daydream, I took half an hour longer to do my veterinary nurse job profile for university because I kept pausing, laying my head on the bed and just dreaming and wishing about things that could never come true.  Inappropriate crushes, unlikely crushes, unrequited crushes.  Following on from my previous post where I was lamenting the fact that all the best, most mature, solid and sexiest guys are straight (and usually a few years older than me), I… am lamenting that very same thing!  So let me regroup a sec and come with a progression.

I think that possibly the most accurate thing I said was wanting someone who feels comfortable in their own skin.  Looking at B’s sudden decision to contact me last weekend, I was talking to Mike about it and he said exactly what I was thinking, “What does he want you to do about it?” And I can’t make somebody feel good about themselves, and I can’t be responsible for healing anyone’s deep-seated personal issues.  If you’re coming to me expecting me to do that for you, then I’m really sorry but I just can’t.  And I won’t – I have my own things to deal with, and I can keep myself together relatively well but I can’t give over that much of myself without my own life just falling apart.  Right now, I need somebody who’s not perfect, but who has it relatively together and can offer me as much as I’m offering them.  That’s the way it is.

I wonder if it is true that “we’re always on the lookout for the next person”.  Right now, I am more or less adamant that I want to get myself sorted and stable with this course and whatever comes afterwards (fingers crossed, a job!).  I want to get a car and I want to move out (it’s come to the point where I sort of dread coming home and whatever mood I might find my parents in – my own place is looming!).  Once I’ve sorted those things, then maybe I will consider really trying for a long-term relationship – until then, if it happens, then great, but I am honestly honestly not looking.  I am flattered if people flirt with me, and I may flirt back for fun, but I’m tired of being dicked around so I’m not looking for anything serious unless it trips over on my doorstep.  Which would be a first.

I just wish that I could have the kind of relationships I have with my friends, both guys and girls.  We can go for drinks and chat for days, we can party, we can hang around one of our places and listen to music and just mess around and be silly. It’s easy.  And I understand that relationships involve a certain amount of effort and compromise and sacrifice – but it shouldn’t feel like hard work constantly, otherwise the rewards of the relationship aren’t enough to make it worthwhile, I don’t believe.  I just want to be with somebody who wants to be with me, who has fun being with me and who makes it easy to be with them.  I mean, good looks and independence and money are all lovely, but if it’s still hard work, I guess I’m getting a little lazy (thanks LeToya).  Just be good to me (thanks again LeToya) and genuine and I’m not that hard to please.  Sometimes I like to go shopping or go out to drink or dance or whatever – I’m 23!  But sometimes just lying together listening to music or watching a film is the most intimate, wonderful thing.  Especially if you have strong arms and nice broad shoulders – I’m not usually someone who admits this (and my height and stature seem to contradict what I’m about to say), but sometimes it’s nice to feel fragile and have somebody scoop you up and make you feel safe.  Just buy some proper R&B CDs – Ginuwine, Jodeci, Usher, Mariah Carey, Dru Hill, Aaliyah are good starters – and put some nice cologne on and invite me over… nothing more, nothing less.  Let’s escape into a private daydream, just for a few hours… and you got me. 😉

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eu te amo Brasil!

August 20, 2009

I’m feeling lazy tonight, and going through my old Skunk Anansie records is like rediscovering a world I knew, then buried and forgot about.  So I thought I would do a bit of a picture blog and rhapsodise about a country I am dying to visit: Brazil.  I am an avid follower of Made In Brazil which gives me all the fashion, music, modelling and current affairs news related to the country that I might ever need.  Why do I have such affection for Brazil?  Well, I am sure part of it is the animated go-go party scene, the sensuality of the beaches (the fact the weather there appears to be so perfect and tropical highlights all the more the relative misery of the UK skies), the exciting baile funk scene which sounds like nothing else.  Its religious, musical and sporting heritage are something I am dying to sample. But let’s be real.  Brazil hosts a lot of fashion shows, by all the top designers: you name them, they’ve got a catwalk set up there.  And therefore, they’ve got a lot of models.  Hot, male models. Supermodels. Hot.  Really, I can’t stress this enough – just hot. I wanted to express my admiration for these guys, their physiques are amazing (bodies I dream of having, as my own and also beside me) and their beauty is pretty much unparalleled.  Be prepared to drool. 😉

Renato Ferreira

Renato Ferreira & Bernardo Velasco

Jesus Luz

Bernardo Velasco

Evandro Soldati

Edilson Nascimento

and last but not least… my future husband:

Rafael Verga

rafael collage sig

… *wipes self down* I will have to try to be lazy more often.  I love you Brazil!!!

and you’re welcome. 😉