Posts Tagged ‘landmark’

h1

criticism.

May 13, 2011

So a couple of weeks ago, E (with whom I do a car share for work, alongside two others) gave me a lift halfway home along with another member of staff, H, who normally doesn’t travel with us – however, they were all attending an event in Bristol so we were all travelling together. The first thing that H says to me upon meeting to get in E’s car is “So Alan, how is your lead foot?” I was a bit taken aback, but just smiled and said “It’s all good!” However, this bothered me.

I am a new driver, and I drive at the speed limit, slightly over it on the motorway, but no more than anybody else. My car is small and quite low down (because it’s a cute sporty thing 😀 ) and I can appreciate that I have been getting the hang of slowing down to go around corners a little bit. But I’m getting a lot better. Now, it’s not the comment of having a “lead foot” that bothers me – I have not been caught speeding and in fact, rarely do speed – so it’s nonsense. What irritates me is the fact that E and other people seemingly have chosen to spend their free time criticising my driving.

In the past, I would have simply said “well I guess I just stay on their minds, which is a compliment.” Which is true. But I have noticed that lately everyone seems to be competing with one another for the prize of “being right”. If you mumble your words, there’s somebody there to make fun of it. If you don’t know where a famous landmark is, there is somebody there to not only tell you, but boast their superiority and make you feel small. I appreciate learning things I did not know from other people, but I don’t understand why being right is so important to some people. Nobody is right 100% of the time, and gain-saying others doesn’t make you a richer person. Life is too short – rather than making other people feel small to feel better about myself for an instant or so, I would prefer to work hard on my own life and reap the lasting benefits. Now, I’m not holier than thou – if I know the correct answer to something, it makes me feel proud and I am not afraid to express that. But not at the expense of others’ self-esteem or confidence. At the end of the day, I am my own worst critic and I would rather criticise myself to improve myself, than be hard on others to momentarily appease my own insecurities.