Posts Tagged ‘kindness’

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pride.

July 9, 2009

Pride is a funny thing.  On the one hand, we are taught it is a bad thing to act too proud, and we should aim to be humble human beings who are never too busy or too above our station to help out our fellow man or take a little time to do whatever.  But at the same time, we should also be proud of our achievements and who we are, and never lower ourselves or do anything that is genuinely beneath us.  They are both sentiments I agree with wholeheartedly, but they also seem to contradict one another and I don’t know exactly whether pride is a bad thing or a good thing. I like to think it is a good thing, because an overdose of pride to me is arrogance; just enough pride is when you are aware of your worth and what you should and shouldn’t do.

Another thing that people say is that “pride comes before a fall”.  I haven’t experienced exactly that, but today I went to visit my grandmother after a depressing morning at home which culminated in my receiving a phone call that was for my father (I am the house receptionist, after all) and my father asking where the phone was.  I stormed out of the house after quickly making myself fit for public consumption, and went to see my nan to talk to her about the current state of play regarding my uni funding (it looks like I may not get any after all, though if I do get it it will be like hitting the jackpot! But I’m sure I’ll expand upon that situation in due course, and there is nothing I can do for the moment other than wait and see) and to de-stress.  While I was there, she gave my some great advice about the job situation, but advice I didn’t really like at first: why don’t I get Jobseekers’ Allowance (aka. unemployment benefit) until the hospital pulls its finger out and gives me some hours like they promised?

The reason why I didn’t really like the idea at first was because I didn’t want to be lumped in with people who don’t ever bother getting a job but just live off handouts from the dole.  I didn’t want to feel I was lazy, and I don’t like accepting charity.  But then, as my nan gently explained to me through a couple of anecdotes from her own life, I was being too proud and I should accept something that I am currently entitled to, especially as everybody else in my position does so and more.  And I realised she was right.  I researched JSA when I got home and went online, and it’s £50 a week.  That is a considerable amount of money that would really help me!  So I have applied and am waiting for the Jobcentre staff to call me (within the next 2 days, apparently).  Fingers crossed!  Perhaps it will be a karmic trigger and something will cause the BRI (hospital) to call me Monday and say they have finally got some hours and want me to come and start working at the job I have been waiting on for a month now.

I generally wouldn’t characterise myself as a proud person – I don’t feel I am at all snobbish, and I am open to talking to and interacting with anyone regardless of their appearance or their walk of life.  I think I am friendly and I am willing to help anyone who genuinely needs my help.  But in this instance, I realised I was being proud (the bad definition) because I was essentially thinking that I was too good to be claiming this benefit.  And that brings to mind another saying: cutting my nose off to spite my face.  There is nothing wrong with being proud of yourself and your achievements, and rightly so – but I was today reminded never to be too proud to accept help when you need it and when it is available to you.

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Something legitimate to blog about.

June 30, 2009

Okay, so I actually have something serious to say.  I know, that didn’t take long, this is only my second post, but late last night and early this morning two instances have occurred that kinda restore my faith in people.  Bear with me.

I have been searching for the mp4 of Ciara’s new video Work (which you MUST see!!! download it here) for over a week, since the video premiered on Channel 4 and subsequently on youtube.  No matter how much searching I did, the only place I could find the video was on youtubealike sites for streaming.  NO DOWNLOAD.  So I began to get frustrated, and I tried to do what the fast girls do… I found a link for the video in some random format (.mkv, as a matter of fact) and atttempted to convert it.  Now this is where the story gets sad… the conversion wouldn’t work.  No way, no how, no dice.  So I went back to the blog where I downloaded the mkv thing and asked very kindly in their shoutbox if they could upload her video in .mp4 format.

The other story is in fact very similar.  I like Toni Braxton.  I possess near enough all of her music (certainly all of her output that has been released on CD).  So I was idly reading about her on wikipedia, when I discovered that there was a song of hers that I did not have.  Once the world ceased to fall down around me, I subdued my anger and shock and went in search of this song (FYI, it is called “No More Love”, it features Irv Gotti, and you can download it here because I love you).  I spent over an hour on google, youtube, limewire, but all I could find was the lyrics to the song. The full lyrics, nonetheless.  This piece of evidence suggested that the song had ben widely heard, despite being quite a few years old now (2003-ish I believe) and being blocked from release by Toni Braxton herself after she got her panties in a bunch found out there was this whole controversy with another song she wanted to release, which sampled the same 2pac song as Jay-Z and Beyoncé’s “Bonnie & Clyde ’03” (which only copies Queen Mariah’s “How Much” anyway… why am I supplying all this information?).  So to cut a long story short, I couldn’t find the damn song, despite using all of my (usually more-than-sufficient) resources.  Same as with the damn video.  So let me tell you, dear reader, what I did.

I reached out. I went on Last.fm, I found somebody who had been listening to this song recently, and discovered that they were already my ‘friend’ (because we’re all friends on here, yknow? *strokes cat*).  So I messaged him and asked him very kindly, once again, if he could upload the file and send it to me.

In both instances, it took them less than 12 hours not only to fulfill my request, but do so with a smile.  Not only was I overjoyed to have the video and the song (disclaimer: it’s not actually that good, and I can sorta see why Toni blocked it… if you want some real Toni Braxton recommendations, hit me up and I’ll see what I can do for you 🙂 ) that I had sought for more time than I would care to admit yesterday (hell, I went to the gym!  I can waste the rest of the day if I want, it’s already a qualified success 😛 ), but I was really touched (I’m being serious now) by the fact that these two people whom I have never met, and whom I don’t really know and who don’t know me, went to the lengths to share this material with me.  Just because I asked them to.  And they did so so promptly.  It was a really nice thing to do, and even if you’re not interested in Ciara or Toni Braxton (which, btw, if you’re not, I advise you to keep that on the DL because otherwise I will have to swing my ponytail on your ass block you cry), I wanted to do the same for you and share the love, share the links and hope that you download one or the other and enjoy.

If you have any requests, let me know and I’ll do my best to hook you up.  I do have more to say, and I will probably say it sometime soon, but I actually have to go and do a real-life thing so I will close by saying that in a world where people often let you down and mess you around, and sometimes / often it is easy to believe that you can only trust you, yourself and you (which is not a sentiment I entirely disagree with, actually), there are still those certain human beings that will overlook self-interest to help someone out.  That makes me smile, and that really is something I thought was worth writing about today.

(don’t worry, more red danger miniskirt sexy love to come soon. probably)