Posts Tagged ‘independence’

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Lady Gaga – Yoü And I (video review).

August 21, 2011

After the extremely disappointing clip for “The Edge Of Glory”, Lady Gaga is well and truly back on her video A-game with “Yoü And I”. In fact, one might say that there is a little too much going on, what with the appearance of both Joe Calderone (Lady Gaga’s male Italian alter ego), and Yuyi the mermaid. Lady Gaga strolls towards a barn, plays the piano, dances with a horde of clones, is making out with an extremely attractive tattooed man (played by Taylor Kinney from The Vampire Diaries) who is then seen torturing her and performing some sort of scientific experiment on her, is getting married to this same man, is a mermaid, is making out with herself as Joe Calderone, is running through a plantation… Huh? It takes a couple of views to even start sorting out what is going here, and I have no idea how it all pieces together – if you do, please enlighten me. But here are my two cents…

The Gaga that we see playing the piano seems to be the purest incarnation of Gaga in the video… perhaps this is reflective of her innocence? Compared to the bionic Gaga we see returning to Nebraska at the start of the video, Piano Gaga is very stripped down. However, Bionic Gaga is evidently returning to this place to rediscover the love interest she left behind (according to the lyrical content). It’s been a long journey both literally and figuratively – hence her bloody heels. And this area in Nebraska is not a nice place – a creepy ice-cream man, torture scenes and a snapshot of a barn that looks straight out of Texas Chainsaw Massacre do enough to suggest this. Bionic Gaga looks almost funereal… is she back for some sort of revenge on the sexy torturer? The first verse and chorus juxtapose innocent Gaga and Joe Calderone (smoking and drinking up a storm) with Bionic Gaga, to drive home how much must have happened in the interim.

Taylor Kinney’s character appears to be responsible for this. We see a wedding scene, and then snapshots of the experiments (with a struggling Gaga strapped to a bench). Cut to Gaga in a teal wig, dancing with a horde of clones (to a ballad, which in itself is fairly impressive). In trying to improve / redefine Gaga, her lover has diluted her originality and turned her into ‘everyone else’… perhaps some parallels for the state of the music industry and the identikit expectations of female pop artists? Again, I don’t know, but that’s what I’m getting from it. Gaga was innocent and naïve – she found love, but then love tried to change her under the guise of “improvement”. Love is pain, and love is struggle – but the more Gaga struggles, the more she is restrained, to the sound of “Sit back down where you belong…” Love is thus also linked to subjugation (again, apt for the music industry and the roles of managers and labels, perhaps?).

Yuyi appears, sat in a bath and bathed tenderly by the same tattooed torturer. This presumably took place prior to the experiments (as Gaga has a tail here and later, it’s gone). Yuyi, who is reportedly “the reincarnation of Gaga’s birth and artistic spirit”, couldn’t look more blissful to be with the man she loves. (Am I the only one who thinks that the name “Yuyi” is subtle way of saying “You (Yu) & (“y” is Spanish for “and”) I”?) Somewhere along the line, something went wrong, and as Lady Gaga has said in reference to the video, “Sometimes love doesn’t work”. Taylor Kinney tries to have sex with Yuyi, but clearly that’s not going to be successful – although he is quite attractive and I love his tattoo, so I am happy that scene is left in there! Is sexual frustration and sexual gratification the prime motive for trying to change Gaga’s character into a bionic superwoman? Could this apply to both the torturer and the music industry? Does Gaga need sex to sell? (Fast forward to the shot of a post-mermaid Gaga thrusting mechanically on the operating table.) And wasn’t she happier when things were simpler? The kiss she shares with Joe Calderone is much less angst-ridden… I guess that at first, Yuyi and her lover were happy, but as he wanted more that Yuyi couldn’t provide, he ended up ruining her body, their love affair, and Gaga’s individuality. To this end, I suppose that the wedding scene could have been the couple’s original dream (which appears as Yuyi cradles her lover at the end of the video) that never came to fruition – another symbol of this love not working out the way the lovers intended.

Gaga and her dancers in the plantation seem to have much more fun and more free reign over their movements than the Gaga clones in the factory – while the latter are all doing the same routine, whipping their hair and being sexually provocative, the former are just being weird and are not in sync. Perhaps this also represents something… through trying to make someone be the way we want / expect them to be, we homogenise them to a point where they lose their identity and purity? I think that that theory does hold a lot of weight, but I also felt a bit silly / pompous typing that last sentence… after all, this is a music video!

The proliferation of guises that Gaga presents in the video for “Yoü And I” suggests that she has many complex and differing aspects to her personality as a whole, and each of these aspects has its own story and perspective. I guess that as people, we are all multi-faceted, and some parts of each person’s story is beyond anyone else’s comprehension. The Bionic Gaga who has returned to Nebraska doesn’t seem vengeful after all; as she sings to the camera at the end, she seems to have accepted everything that happened to her to make her who she is – after all, there’s no going back now, and we just have to experience everything that happens to us, be strong and independent, and keep walking. And if a music video can be that much of a ride and make one think that much, then it’s got to be a good one.

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Joss Stone – LP1 (album review)

August 11, 2011

LP1 is Joss Stone’s 5th album and her third consecutive attempt to reboot her career (after the stellar Introducing… Joss Stone and the defiant Colour Me Free!). This time, Joss is free of her previous record label EMI and is on her own imprint, Stone’d. So, if she is finally truly in control, why is this album so lifeless?
The good: Joss’ voice is richer, more textured and more soulful than ever. “Last One To Know” is starkly emotional, and compliments this voice with dramatic string crescendoes. On “Landlord”, a raw number which could have been recorded alongside Bruce Springsteen’s Nebraska, Joss takes centre stage backed by nothing but an acoustic guitar.
The bad: There is little else positive to say about the album. Its major crime is that it is dull. Hook-free songs plod along with nondescript drums and guitars blending into an MOR blur. The lyrics are frequently awful: take “Newborn”‘s anticlimactic “What happened to this morning when I woke up and the world was… bruised”, or acoustic closer “Take Good Care”‘s “Take… good… care… / Don’t… push… the button.” Um, what? Joss tries to inject some life into proceedings by cussing to prove how ‘badass’ she is: “I’m a girl that don’t give a shit!” This swearing becomes tiresome, as it’s unnecessary bravado rather than genuine emotion.
If the songwriting on this album matched the quality of Joss’ voice, LP1 would be a much more satisfying affair. As it is, it’s going to take more than this inert stab at independence to revitalise her career. Perhaps Stone should consider working with a soul singer-songwriter like Jazmine Sullivan, whose vocal range and depth is similarly impressive but who has songs which thrill and impress, rather than bore. Joss is one of the UK’s best singers but this material is largely deplorable – and it’s a crying shame.

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angelic.

May 17, 2011

I’ve written before about becoming more in touch and at peace with my darker side. My tattoos might be all in black ink, and some might consider them sinister- or dangerous-looking, but for me they are a beautiful expression of my inner self. I have not regretted any of them for a second, and the more I see them, the more I love them.

When pondering ideas for my 5th tattoo, I keep returning to the ideas of wings. Now, I already have a rather large black raven on my hip, so another bird might be overkill – I have never had a particular affinity for birds, so one beautiful one could be considered enough. To me, birds and the act of flying are symbolic of freedom and independence. So I am still cogitating on what to get, and it’s good that I have no clear idea because I certainly don’t have the money to afford a new tattoo any time soon! But I keep returning to the idea of an angel, or at least an angel’s wing.

Now, I know this might be feminine, so I have to think about how to draw it out and to have it. And I think that a pair of wings which took up the whole of my back might be a) too symmetrical, and b) too large. So as you can see, I really still have no idea! As did all my other tattoos, the perfect design and placement will just come to me in good time, and I will know it when I feel it. But I wanted to return to and explore the symbolism of the angel a little bit more. It’s ironic that when I have felt that these tattoos are an expression of my dark side, that an angel appeals to me as a combination of both the edgy and of the purely sweet and innocent. I guess I am quite a sweet and sensitive person on the inside, and I only want the best for everyone (myself included). I am not someone who takes hurting others lightly, and I will try to go out of my way to help others when I can. I’m not perfect – I’m only human! – but I think of myself as a good person and I always try to do my best and do right by all.

Sometimes I wonder whether the idea of being dangerous, or edgy, is a façade that people wear in order to make themselves feel / appear more interesting, more complex. I used to feel that I was so boring, only to realise that actually, I am lucky to have the ability to just follow my heart and have good core values. There is plenty about me that makes me fun, a good friend, and interesting! Living on the edge from time to time is fine, but I don’t understand why it is not considered socially “cool” or exciting to try your best and resist breaking all the rules. When someone tries too hard to “be bad” for show, they end up being more of a geek, or more uncool, than those who choose to stay within the lines and obey rules and laws – because they are clearly just pressed, and in life it’s important to just enjoy oneself and let go at times – both in the context of letting go of all the pressures and constraints we live under from family and friends, and of all of the social norms that push and pull us to be something we’re not, be that an angel or a devil. I just get on with my life and try to live the best I can, being as good to others as I can be while still putting myself first and making sure I value myself. So does an angel really suit me? I do have my dark side, but at my core I am nice and sweet. So perhaps I am angelic… a little bit! But I am mostly human and only time will tell if that tattoo idea is right for me.

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liberation.

February 9, 2011

So in the last week, I have been to London, bought a car and car insurance, learned to drive halfway to work (as I’m part of a carshare at work, I won’t be driving all the way to Cirencester for another week and a half) and tonight I have driven on the motorway for the first time!

My car is lovely – a little blue Vauxhall Tigra which suits me down to the ground. It’s pretty, compact and sleek. My parents aren’t totally sure if it’s a convertible as it has odd arrow things near the roof, but I would have thought that if it were a convertible, it would have been advertised as such! We’ll see.

It’s so liberating that I can now come and go as I please – I’m no longer shackled by pathetic Bristol public transport! I can also return the favours from so many people who’ve given me lifts in the past. It may sound silly, but this week I have felt proud of myself every single day, just because I can finally drive! And although I was hella nervous on Sunday night driving on my own for the first time (and I learned that my car won’t do a hill start in 3rd gear – so I should make sure it’s in 1st!) I can already feel myself getting more confident 🙂 Driving has always been the one thing that has made me irrationally nervous, and now I am finally licensed, I just have to overcome all the challenges without any hesitation, otherwise my nerves might get the better of me.

Money’s gonna be tight for a couple of months while I start paying my dad (who has been a massive support through my whole car-buying endeavour) back for the insurance, I pay for a service, and start to save up to pay off my debts. But it’s worth it – I feel a sense of emancipation and pride because I am mastering the one thing that kept me down for so long.

Next goal: London, here we come!!! Love y’all xxx

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me first.

November 20, 2010

I’ve had enough time to get my future on track, and this year I have made great steps towards achieving what I ultimately want to do. Once I pass my driving test and get a car, I’ll be a lot closer to liberation and being a free agent; I can move out and have my own mobility.

With this in mind, I find myself constantly checking myself with regards to my attitude to the future. When I get nervous about driving, and I feel like (for various reasons) it’s never going to happen for me and “why don’t I just take the hints that I am not built to do this”, I remember that I am the only one who can be responsible for my life. Everybody feels weak sometimes, and that’s fine; but I have to make sure I don’t cross the border from feeling weak to being weak. I am in control of my own life, and that’s what it comes down to.

So when I’m at work and I feel frustrated by colleagues who seem to have nothing better to do than squabble with one another, make everyone else feel alienated, and ultimately act in direct contrast to their job description of being open, friendly and communicative, with excellent listening skills – that’s no reflection of me. I should not feel cowed by this, because I do my job well and I have done absolutely nothing wrong. My life, my destiny – it’s all good and I shouldn’t let others and their displacement of emotions affect that.

Likewise, I ultimately see myself almost definitely moving to London in the near future. Obviously, Toby being based there is a big draw for me. But I finally am waking up to the fact that I have to do this for me. My independence, my friends, my boyfriend, my career, my financial and professional development. I hope that me and Toby will be together for a very long time. But if not, does that mean that I should never try to move to London for myself? Of course not!  So I’m continuing to look for job vacancies there. Once again, I am going to be gracious and loving towards everyone I can be (who deserves it!), but I am also going to put myself first because I deserve it. This is my life, and we only get one. I spend so much time trying to keep the peace, to make other people happy, and while I can be materially selfish and spend money on myself no problem, I need to emotionally value myself too. We all do. The way that I can keep making progress like I did in 2010 is to be held back by nothing and no-one and reach for the stars.