Posts Tagged ‘casual sex’



July 27, 2009

So some scandalous guy-type things happened today!  Firstly, after seemingly vanishing off the face of the earth (no use of internet, no texting, his phone going straight to voicemail) for 4 DAYS, B texted me out of the blue today… no mention of my offer to see Harry Potter from Thursday. He’d been out on Saturday night and had only just recovered.  Fair enough… but his ability to appear one minute and be perfectly lucid and then disappear and be uncontactable for days on end is a bit insane.  I can’t go for that.  I did reply to his text today, as nonchalantly as possible (I finally have some work! Am starting at the hospital tomorrow afternoon 🙂 🙂 🙂 )… again, no response as of yet.  I’m over it!

Something which shocked me a bit more, and which is the main focus of my blog today, is the revelation behind my online friend J (I have an ingenious scheme of protecting names).  We met on the dating site where I meet a lot of guys (including B, and a couple of people who have become genuine friends) and we exchanged texts in a relaxed manner.  We have met up in person once, it was fine and perfectly unassuming.  Since then, we’ve spoken often on msn (me doing most of the talking, he’s one of those “yeah / lol / cool” people whom you have to steer within the conversation) fairly often, and he is a holistic massage therapist.  So I had arranged to go to his place tomorrow evening, bottle of wine in hand, and get said massage… whatever happened afterwards, let it happen.  I had my eyes open, maybe nothing would have happened, maybe something… I wasn’t really bothered either way, but I was aware of the possibility.

Now, because I have my job starting tomorrow, I was going to cancel this arrangement because after my first afternoon at work the last thing I wanted to be doing was hanging around town waiting for this massage + possible extras.  So I go on msn, and sure enough J is there, but with a different picture to his usual one… and a picture I recognised from the site.  It was the picture of a man’s butt, assigned to a profile called “sexaddict” (not the profile I met J under!!!).  Within 5 seconds, J’s msn picture had changed to his usual face pic, and I had to ask… was the picture his? He said yes.  So I was like “ok, are you the sexaddict person from the site?” He logged off. AKA admission of guilt.  Now, me and J have flirted a tiny bit on the net, and he even told me “my body’s not sexy m8”.  So one moment, he is not sexy, and quite the shy and silent type.  The next minute, he is a “sexaddict” with his naked body online for all to see (though no cock, which is still fairly restrained compared to some of the guys on the site!) and declaring “NAKED BLINDFOLDED HANDCUFFED LUBED UP DOORS OPEN CUM GET ME”.  His lack of punctuation is the least of my worries.

I am not bothered that he was looking for sex online… that’s why 95% of the guys are on there!  I wouldn’t be averse to having sex with someone I met on there, it’s happened once or twice, though my rule of “not on the first date/meet” has always held, apart from one time.  And I don’t mind talking to J in the future, because he’s not a nasty person and has done nothing to me.  What I find weird is that he had two distinct personas – that of the professional, shy, quiet masseur who is polite and close to his family, and that of the desperate, horny, sex-starved slutty guy.  I mean, we hear stories about people on the internet not being who they claim to be, and that’s one of the risks we take with online chatting and dating.  And we hear plenty of stories about the most respectable of people having hidden dark sides.  Everyone gets their rocks off somehow, and there’s nothing wrong with J liking sex and looking for it online; I’m sure there are some who are happy to oblige.

But what creeps me out is that he tried deliberately to hide the sex-addict person from me, and I was going to go to his house for a massage!  I don’t know, he may well have been utterly professional… after all, I was being equally as flirtatious with him online beforehand (and I was quite restrained, I’ve been a bit more forward in other cases! 😉 ).  And he’s not usually the aggressor in sex, according to his sexaddict persona… But nevertheless, when someone deliberately hides such an important part of themselves, it feels like a deception, and I am glad that my little bit of detective work managed to uncover a scandal.  I’m sorry that I might have embarrassed him, but I really don’t mind talking to him again, I just wish he would have been a bit more honest about how sexy he really thinks he is (instead of claiming to be virginal and stoic, which is clearly a lie), and why he was on the site. Ah well, I’m sure that I will still get a massage from somebody one day!  Case closed.