hibernation temptation.

April 8, 2013

Lately, I have found it difficult to do anything without complaining, and I realise that putting negativity out into the universe via the internet is not how I wish to conduct myself. For one, I believe that you reap what you sow and what goes around comes around, and at this point in my life I want to exude as much positivity and good vibes as I possibly can with the hope that it’ll return to me in kind. And secondly (more practically speaking), who would wish to follow or tweet or be friends with somebody who is constantly down on themselves, whether with good reason or not?

In my last post, I talked about how important words are to me, and how judiciously we must use them. So I try as much as possible to use my words carefully, and not say anything at all if it’s just going to be a whiney tweet. Sometimes I succeed, sometimes I fail, but I hope that I am getting better. Recently though, with this temptation to just vent and vent and vent, I have wondered whether it’s better not to have a blog, or Twitter, or Facebook, or anything else. How old-school and tempting it would be to go back to basics and just be a human being. I could be anonymous and work on my book and my music in seclusion and privacy.

But also, and ultimately, how ignorant, how anachronistic and how unrealistic. As a relatively young person who is generally vibrant, effervescent and spirited, I don’t think I could feel truly connected to the world I live in today without an online presence – and not just with reference to maintaining friendships (especially with those you don’t see more than once every few months). The internet will likely be how I promote my artistic pursuits. In career terms, there is LinkedIn and Facebook and employers evaluate you in part based on your profiles there. Now, it’s important not to chat foolishness on these online platforms, but at the same time, being completely invisible on them can only be a disadvantage too, right? I don’t know how people consistently execute such a balancing act – at 27 years old, it sometimes takes everything in me to make sure that I represent myself as intelligently as I can. What a burden to place upon people who are younger, who are still growing up in the world – while it’s important to be self-aware and aware of the world around us, I don’t know if it’s completely healthy not to have a time of life when one can express oneself relatively free of persecution, and is free to be silly and make mistakes. Otherwise, how can we learn if nobody is willing to let us make any mistakes and forgive us for the ones that we do make?

So I am resisting the temptation to hibernate and cut myself off. But I’m resolved to being a little bit quieter and more introverted – to conduct myself with dignity and integrity. These have always been my aims, but sometimes I need a bit more strength to achieve them! Simply put, if we can’t say anything nice then we shouldn’t say anything at all 🙂

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